Five Examples of Justin Bieber Being a Douche

1. HE wore this hat, with these glasses, which basically makes him look like one of those weird little creatures from Despicable Me, or Tilda Swinton playing the part of an anorexic lesbian construction worker that moonlights as a hipster. LOLZ.......



 2. He wore these pants, which were clearly made for color-blind incontinent geriatrics that are still stuck in the 80′s era when MC Hammer’s cocaine binge was sporadic enough that it allowed him to pursue a career. It’s a shame that so many purple cheetahs had to die to make him look like such a douche.

3. He physically and verbally threatened papparazzi, even though he is so tiny that Jessie J had to lift him out of SUV and hold him back.
 
4. He abandoned his monkey to the German government. HIS MONKEY! It is every man’s dream, regardless of sexual orientation to have a monkey as a best friend. He had a monkey side kick and he abandoned it to the same government whose only positive impacts on the world are uncut penises and Heidi Klum?
 

5. He wears sunglasses indoors, at night, during award speeches, for awards which were made up specifically so he could win them (c’mon, the milestone award? That’s like getting a diploma for getting laid in high school.). And then immediately follows with this diarrhea of the mouth:
 ”I’m 19 years old. I think I’m doing a pretty good job,” Bieber says in his speech. “Basically from my heart I really just want to say it really should be about to music. It should be about the craft that I’m making. This is not a gimmick and I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously.”
The only thing Justin Bieber needs to seriously take, is a long, hard look in the mirror. I am enjoying this so much.

After visiting the F*CKING Holocaust museum, he wrote this:
“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”

Oh, Hell no.

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maryjane